Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
