sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
