if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
