if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
nutella sex= disaster
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
