i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
