Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I want her autograph on my taint
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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