Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
