How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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