I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
