So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
