you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
