i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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