Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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