when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
