guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
