D3 body, D1 cock
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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