I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
