if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
