Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
