508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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