who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize