We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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