can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
my poor anus
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
