she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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