It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
