my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
