At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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