I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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