How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
