those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
