We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
