The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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