Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
