Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
