Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize