Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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