We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
