Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
