it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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