idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
