so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
