I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's just like the Real World with babies
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize