don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
