Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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