I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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