Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
