i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
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