so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
false alarm, still single
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
