i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
