I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's official drugs can't kill me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
