Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
