so explain again why im purple
no
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
