I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
