How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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