Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
