thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
