dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
