I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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