Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
