i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
